Lately I've been thinking a lot about death. But before I get to that let me aknowledge how I haven't touched this blog in months. And it does feel good to write again.
Samsara makes a lot of sense now. That's a Buddhist name for the cycle of rebirth. We are born, we grow older, sicken, die, and start all over again. The whole point of Buddhism is to achieve a state of total mindfulness to get you ready for Liberation, through meditation. As you meditate, you think with greater clarity and may have flashbacks from a past life... Or a future life.
Enough theology class for today. The thing is they say meditation helps the mind to detach from earthly pleasures and unpleasures, such as cars and expensive lavish items, and also human pain. It may sound cruel at first, but it is better if we're really not attached to amything. Because everything eventually comes to an end. Our cars, lavish items, but also our friends and loved ones.
So yeah, they're gonna offer some free meditation clases in school next semester, which I want to sign up for. Because in my millions of lives, I've seen everything, money, material stuff, friends, loved ones, come and go as I have myself came and went countless times.
Hello. To my faithful 0 readers... I haven't had literally no time to write here at all since long ago, but I have many things I would like to remember. First off, I'm a Buddhist convert, or try to be. That has given me a whole new perspective about my life and question my ways.
Lately I've been noticing how repetitive and monotone my life actually is. I wake up, go downstairs and take a shower, eat breakfast, go to school, 8 hours in which I thankfully have no time to think in stuff like this, I go home, do homework, draw a bit if I can, and go to bed... With the only motivation that tomorrow will be exactly the same.
Thinking like a Buddhist, that is pretty much reincarnation here on Earth, which is an endless cycle of which you can never free yourself from unless you realize that you're in it, and decide to do something about it. Well, I've realized I'm in a painful cycle which leads to (at least for now it seems) apparently nowhere, but I don't know what the fuck to do.
I don't know Buddhist views on envy, but right now my main weakness is my lack of meaningful relationships. To me, a meaningful relationship is when you have a person to which you can tell anything to (reciprocal of course) and chit chat all day long and go places together. I have one at school and like 3-4 outside. That said, I have set my mind into talking to more people... But apparently school has traumatized me enough for me not to know how to speak with someone without bringing school up.
Well, after a loooong period of inactivity, I am coming back to blogging. That's right, I am so hipster I have a blog. I remember it was actually around this time a year ago that I opened up this blog, and actually got some traffic, but then came school and blah, blah, blah. You may have noticed I wrote this post in the theme of a letter, well, that is because "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" is my new favorite book and had a great impact on me, LOL. So, shall we start?
I am writing on my long weekend, holiday weekend, or whatever you call it. Revolution Day is a national holiday on November the 20th and usually comes with a day off from school or work. Although it seems almost a tradition that they sort of like move it a few days for us to have a long weekend, which we nonsensically call a "bridge".
Okay, so back to the main topic... Today is Saturday, November 16th and it's the second day of this... thing that has been implemented for the last two years by my beloved Mexican Government. "The Good [week]End" as they call it is nothing more than a mere rip-off (which media call an "equivalent") of American Black Friday. (Just to clear up, the original name, "El Buen Fin" literally means "The Good End", but when you use the word "Fin" in that context, you're most likely talking about a weekend.
It's not the shameful pathetic rip-off (believing they are being sooo original) what's bothering me. What bothers me is that people are actually buying it! People think they should actually buy stuff they do not need just because they are a billion months interest-free. Products aren't even cheaper, they are actually just god damn interest free! But the last straw is that people are spending money now, to spend it again next month! They're buying their 80" LED TV today yes, and that iPad the kid "needs" for "school", but please keep in mind, we're in the middle of November, and the Holidays are coming up, that means, the Christmas dinner, the presents, the New Years Eve Party, and that sure costs a fortune. Now imagine you plunge into debt today AND spend the same money you spent today in a month. How stupid.
And who does this benefit? Of course Dr. Mr. Lord Sir Enrique Peña Nieto, M.D, Ph, D and his fucking bureaucrats, who were given their Christmas bonus early this year and will be the sole Mexicans who'll make a profit out of this disgusting unleash of consumerism at its highest.
Now I'm not saying all of it is wrong, but there are people who buy excessively without a second thought (it's not Black Friday, amigos). So just be careful. I am gonna leave you with a video; in Spanish. That shows a very well-thought criticism of this Black Friday rip-off. The guy hides under the alias of Jay Sherman (yes, from the show "The Critic"). Hope you understand something.
JWell, I am so dearly sorry for not posting in quite a while, but it has been some pretty busy months. I am a sophomore now, which in Mexico means a lot of demanding work, but I've been able to get through by following my famous motto, which instructs me to start easy and not too eager so I won't lose interest. Now, I don't mean to brag, but it's working, lol.
So anyways, this has been an interesting week. Monday was memorial day, so no school (for you guys), Thursday was Freddie Mercury's birthday and I drew a mural on the blackboard in the library... Abd they erased it. So anyways, my school turned 70 years old on Friday and they made a big celebration at the stadium. I didn't go to the celebration per se, but I went to the fair adjacent to the stadium. It was pretty nice, but it rained... Like real hard, and Titanium (as they called it) was nearly cancelled. It wasn't, but I couldn't go because none of my friends were staying not we had any tickets. (Although we were offered plenty).
Then Saturday was very boring, simply studying for my first big math test. That's when things fucked up. I was happy, I knew everything in my guide, then talked to my friend... He replaced me for some other people. And that's okay I guess, i don't want to talk to him anymore because I'm just hurting myself... But I'm weak... And that last message... "I am creating wonderful memories which I will not share just because"... That was the last straw... The pain... was unbareable... I begged my mom to let me get out for some air... 30 minutes of begging later I did, and encountered my dearest neighborhood friend... He said I creep him out... Everybody is such a fucking idiot...
All I did today was play Tapped Out and watch 9/11 documentaries... The date is approaching. 12 years, unbelievable huh? So I'm gonna leave you, I am watching the Social Network. Jesse Eisenberg is such a good actor...
Today you would've been fifteen now. Years do fly by don´t they? If you were incredibly tall for your mere 3 years of age back then I bet you'd be off the 6" mark today.
Yesterday (YOUR birthday) was more of a spiritual healing (?) more than a Sunday. I had been forced to go to a hospital to give away some food to those waiting in Emergencies. I actually refused at first, but you were pretty generous yourself, so why not.
I actually had a great time. Although some people were rude and greedy over the food, (which is understandable based on the fact that they have family or friends in Emergencies) people were really thankful overall. Then i went to visit my ill great-grandmother, who often complains about her swelling feet, yet maintains her high spirits and good mood. I refused at first as welll, but had a great time as well. We watched an old Mexican film. Then I went to church. I hate organized religion and churches (more specifically) but then remembered you were pretty religious yourself... And "mysteriously" also a Roman Catholic like me. I won't say I had a great time during Mass, but afterwards we did. We had some enchiladas and laughed at the nonsense of my 8-year-old bro.
For some reason I think life would have made us cross paths eventually, as I plan to study in CalArts while living on WeHo, but more than that I think of we, a lazy me and a gigantic yet loving and gentle you as friends later on.
I don't know if you were an artist or had some kind of taste for drawing, but we would've definetely met in CalArts (I'm two weeks younger than you.) but I think God had some special plan for you to go to heaven that young as he did to me to read that blog in which i found out about you.
It is also worth mentioning that my mom told me a real mind blower a few days ago. She said when she worked at the office, there was this American professor named David, and I would run and yell "David!" Every time I saw him, an I was probably 2.5 or 3. Of course, that David was a full grown man, but that was strange to hear.
You are always in my mind David Reed, and although this may sound weird, I kinda hope those "truthers" are that ans you flew to Cleveland where you lived a happy life with your Papa and Daddy, yet away from all of us who love you but neer had a chance to know you in person.
